Groom grunting, groom groaning.

Til Death Do Us Part is a very interesting movie, and I say that with no sense of sarcasm or irony. I love movies that have an interesting premise and can keep me thinking throughout the entire movie on where it’s going, and what the filmmakers are hiding from us. And this movie is no different, from the concept to the poster to the writer to the director. It’s a film that had me intrigued from start to finish.

I haven’t seen any of director Timothy Woodward Jr.’s previous films, or anything by writer Chad Law or Shane Dax Taylor. What they present is a film that gets your brain going right off the bat. A seemingly simple premise of a bride who walks out on her wedding only to be hunted down by seven evil groomsmen. Sort of a gender-bent Scott Pilgrim mixed with Bullet Train only set in the woods instead of on a train. You quickly get the idea that the bride isn’t just a simple bride and the groomsmen aren’t simple groomsmen and the university that the bride and groom are “teachers” at probably isn’t an actual university.

Natalie Burn plays the bride and I’m happy to see Burn playing a dignified role again after spending the last few years starring in and producing Bruce Willis elder abuse movies. Have I mentioned that Randall Emmett is going to burn in hell? Hope that UAE money was worth an eternity of getting a hot pitchfork shoved in your ass, Randall. Get a taste for Sulphur, you’re going to be spending a lot of time with it sooner than you think. I need to catch up on Burn’s prior movie The Enforcer because the cast is fantastic.

Ser’Darius Blain plays the groom and wow does he look different since I last saw him in 2019’s Jumanji. You may notice that I’m not naming any of the characters so far and that’s because nobody has names. Blain has charm out the wazoo and not just because he’s handsome and has a deep voice like melted butter on a mandolin. The groom sends his seven henchmen to get the bride and keep her safe until he can come find her. For what purpose? You’ll have to watch the film to find out.

Easily the star of the show however is Cam Gigandet as Best Man. I remember Cam from his role in Violent Night as the actor boyfriend Morgan Steel noting him being a strong actor because he can get you hating a character like they’re real. It’s a show of the man’s talent, as I thought Gigandet was tailor made for the role of self-absorbed douche, but you know what? He’s also tailor made for the role of threatening yet charming secret agent type who is also a self-absorbed douche. But Gigandet steals the spotlight whenever he’s on screen with his wit and love of music. He is a vehicle for this movie’s soundtrack.

As for the rest of the cast they are pretty strong. I never get tired of seeing Orlando Jones. The other actors I haven’t seen in shit, but I did enjoy the back and forth banter between Pancho Moler as T-Bone and Neb Chupin as Big Sexy. These are literally the only two to get even nicknames in the film. Meanwhile Jason Patric is here as Husband, aka Alex Shaw from Speed 2. He plays along with Nicole Arlyn who plays wife, the two characters being part of a side story the movie flashes into every now and then.

Til Death Do Us Part is a movie that’s not interested in going anywhere fast, given the heft of the plot takes place in one location. And honestly I’m fine with that, but then again The Motion Picture is my favorite Star Trek movie and I like Jim Jarmusch films. It feels like translating an eight player game of chess into a live action film, everyone taking their moves with time to literally get a drink and listen to tunes in-between the action scenes. I half-expected a schlocky girl power movie from the trailer, and it also isn’t that. There’s blood and it does go into b-tier flick territory occasionally but otherwise it’s played pretty straight.

However I will admit that the spy talk gets really old around the midpoint in the film where the movie knows that the audience is well aware of what’s going on but everyone still talks in code anyway. It’s a half-step away from an entire movie of the dialogue from Darmok in The Next Generation. Meanwhile this movie is 110 minutes long and really does not justify its runtime. I’m betting they could have chopped a good twenty minutes off this film and not lost anything of critical importance. I would also describe the dialogue as Tarantino-esque only not as well written.

But as I said, I did enjoy the film quite a bit. If you don’t have Prime, it’s also on Tubi.

Rating: B+