Leonardo Decapitated.

The Quick and the Dead is a 1995 western film directed by Sam Raimi. Released two years after Army of Darkness, this film has gone on to be considered an underrated classic in Raimi’s list of movies despite moviegoers and critics not being too keen on it at the time and it grossing $47 million of a $35 million budget. Its writer Simon Moore went on to write a few mini-series up to the early aughts and hasn’t been involved in anything on the IMDB books since 2003-ish.

This film stars Sharon Stone as Ellen “The Lady”, a mysterious gal who rolls into the town of Redemption on a mission. What kind of mission? I don’t know, it’s a western. Probably revenge. Yeah, definitely revenge. I’m not normally a betting man but I don’t think there’s a single red-blooded guy or gal in the world who wasn’t thinking about Ellen walking all over them in those spurs. Hot damn.

The town of Redemption is owned by the evil John Herod (Gene Hackman) who taxes the crap out of the village folk and makes their life hell. Every so often he holds a tournament to see who the fastest gun in town is, for big prizes. Gee, Ellen shows up in town just in time for the tournament where Herod is a participant? I’m sure that’s just a coincidence, right? There’s never a coincidence in western flicks, my friends. Of course the tournament and its prize draw in fighters from all over the area.

I can’t understate what a great cast this movie has, a quintessential 90s flick. Side by side with Ellen through most of the flick is Leonardo DiCaprio as “The Kid,” a cocksure gunslinger who is in town to make a name for himself, chiefly by having drunk sex with Sharon Stone right at the beginning of the movie. Russell Crowe is in this movie as Cort, a priest forced at gunpoint to compete. Pat Hingle plays the bartender.

Keith David is in this movie as Sergeant Clay Cantrell, Lance Henriksen plays “Ace” a man whose gimmick is he plays cards and adds an ace to his deck whenever he kills a dude. Then you’ve got Mark Boone Junior, Tobin Bell, Raynor Scheine, Fay Masterson, Olivia Burnette, Gary Sinise, Bruce Campbell. It was also the final film of Woody Strode, coming out one year after his death. How 90s is this film? It’s got Roberts Blossom, the creepy old man from Home Alone.

It’s very clear from the trailer that The Quick and the Dead is an homage to Sergio Leone movies, only starring a lady. So imagine if Clint Eastwood had emotional outbursts and banged Leo and that’s kinda what this movie is like. It’s a great homage to the Eastwood westerns that sprinkles in some sex appeal for extra flavor. If you’ve seen a single western you already know what the twists of the film are, but the gimmick characters add a nice touch and a flare for the dramatic.

I particularly enjoy Jonothon Gill as Spotted Horse, your stereotypical Native American character riddled with bullet wounds who refers to himself as bulletproof until he gets his head blown off. This is sadly Jonothon Gill’s last movie of a very short stint in film.

But it’s a good sign when a film is heavily clichéd and still manages to impress. The Quick and the Dead is an absolutely ridiculous movie that borders on parody sometimes, and it’s all the better for it. Even if the scenes where characters get shot and you can see the light shining through their bullet holes are utterly, utterly stupid and throw the serious scenes through a loop.

Rating: A-