Chucky goes to the White House.

Chucky Season 3 is out, and episode one is already upon us with episode 2 coming on October 11. Will it be good? I hope so. I certainly haven’t had any reason to think Don Mancini would let me down up to this point. So in usual fashion I’ll be updating this piece as the show goes on. Spoilers ahead.

#1: Murder at 1600

Devon Sawa is the president. Chucky Season 3 picks up not too long after the end of Season 2. Jake (Zackary Arthur) is a Tiktok star for his art, Devon (Björgvin Arnarson) is still a podcaster and still gay, and Lexy (Alyvia Alyn Lind) is now a thirst-trap TikTok star trying to find her sister by doing the Renegade on camera. Maybe it’s because I’m 34 and Alyvia Lind is 16 but I’d like to point out she calls herself a thirst trap and she still looks like a child. I’m getting too old for this shit.

Callum Vinson plays Henry Collins, the Andy Barclay of this season. Jackson Kelly plays his brother Grant, the loser stoner who seems to have a heart of gold. You just know Grant is gonna die before this season is out and it’s going to be tragic, but I’d be willing to bet Henry has plot armor and Chucky will try to possess him. Actually going from the trailer, Chucky might be trying to groom Caroline into becoming his next serial killer host.

As an aside, Murder at 1600 is the same name as a 1997 film starring Wesley Snipes. If Wesley Snipes was in this film he’d kick the crap out of Chucky from minute one.

The most unbelievable part of this plot is the idea that Chucky would be allowed in the Oval Office during official business. Taken at face value, Chucky is still a recording device that could be transmitting to people outside the building. Given the episode kicks off with the White House being hacked, you’d think there’d be stricter rules on electronic devices being carried around sensitive areas, especially a doll that showed up out of seemingly nowhere.

I don’t think Carina London Battrick has ever smoked a bong before. Also Annie Briggs is back as Miss Fairchild, speaking of thirst traps. She’s the type of teacher every red-blooded male and even female wishes they had back in high school for some extracurricular discipline. Hot damn. I’m looking forward to seeing more of Alex Paxton-Beesley as Gretchen, the reporter competent enough to know something is fishy about the “accidental” deaths in the White House. I imagine she’ll be investigating up until mid-season when we she breaks into a secret room in the White House, gets killed by Chucky after realizing he’s real, and then gets posthumously pegged as a spy or something.

Also it may be early to tell but it looks like Zackary Arthur took some acting classes or cleared up his constipation, because he’s already a lot better this season. The same goes for
Bjorgvin Arnarson. We’ll see. Also I’m really disappointed that Teddy (Noah Dalton Danby) was the first guy to die. I was really liking him up to that point.

#2: Let the Right One In

“You are not responsible for a serial killer doll.” Miss Fairchild has a point, listen to your hot teacher/legal guardian. This week’s episode sees the trio heading to DC in order to hunt down and stop Chucky. The big question is; will the show have the balls to kill the President of the United States? Who am I kidding, they blew up a kid with a bomb strapped to his chest last season.

There’s a new character this episode; Warren Pryce played by Gil Bellows. Pryce’s job is to also be intelligent in a world full of horror movie morons; immediately identifying Chucky as a possible threat and understanding that Teddy’s death was suspicious. It’ll be disappointing when he inevitably gets killed by Chucky moments after finding out that he’s living.

The main three are definitely getting better as actors. I was kinda hoping Samantha (Steffi DiDomenicantonio) would be in the show longer, but also we saw her get killed in the trailer. Great effects on her head. getting almost cut off with the fancy letter opener. There’s some character progression as Charlotte deals with hiding her knowledge that there’s a murderer in the White House. It’s also endearing to see Grant who is kind of a jackass also be a real human dealing with the loss of his brother.

Devon and Jake keep almost banging and I wish the show would stop focusing so much time with that. Because the actors are 17 and again they look like children. And then Chucky killed Miss Fairchild and I hate this show now. Chucky keeps counting down to something, but what is it? I guess we’ll find out. Also given there’s a big Halloween gala I’m going to go on a limb and suggest they’re going to have a big massacre. Just a thought given Chucky says “this is going to be the bloodiest Halloween yet.”

Also where is Caroline? We haven’t seen Tiffany yet but we know from the trailer that she’s in prison.

#3: Jennifer’s Body

If you ever wanted to see Kenan Thompson get violently murdered, this is your episode.

The good news on episode #3 is that Nica is back, as is Jennifer Tilly as Tiffany as Jennifer Tilly. Oh and so is Andy. I’d be interested to ask others; at what point when Chucky started brutally stabbing Andy to death did you realize it probably wasn’t real? I think for me it was around the time Andy started screaming for help like a bitchly. Seemed too much like a fantasy of Chucky’s to be real in the context of the show.

The “Voodoo For Dummies” book returns once again, and this book is never not funny to me. I love the idea that what started out as an actual voodoo book in the 80s in the context of the series has presumably been discovered and co-opted by a giant corporation who, either knowingly or otherwise, are just publishing a genuine book on how to perform voodoo rituals and possess others. I have to assume outside of teenage girl slumber parties, this book isn’t well known in the universe.

And to top all that off, Chucky goes to a voodoo hospital because his form is beginning to age. His body is beginning to decompose because of the exorcism from last season. It’s great hearing the doctor explain with a completely straight face that Chucky has been infected with an aggressive form of Catholicism and as a result not only is he dying but he can no longer transfer form because Damballa has abandoned him.

Tiffany reminds the audience how ridiculous her plot has been by testifying in court about her story so far. Chucky and Caroline go to Amityville to do something really evil and asks an important question; what the fuck is up with the Dutch? We also finally get an explanation on why Chucky is killing people at the White House, because he needs to kill six people in a house that is sufficiently evil, and what more evil a house than that?

Tiffany gets the death penalty.

#4: Dressed to Kill

It’s finally time for the Halloween episode. Dressed To Kill progresses the story in pretty much the exact way you would expect. There’s a big Halloween party and Chucky kills a bunch of people. It does feel like the episode wastes its own time at a few plot points as Chucky in the beginning comments that he’s going to save his last three sacrifices for the trio, but then doesn’t even bother trying to kill them.

The chandelier falling on the group is probably the low point of the show’s CG so far, but the after effects are fantastic. It was disappointing to see Gretchen’s plot come to a conclusion with no payoff, her simply being vivisected by a giant chandelier. It’s really Game of Thrones level cock blocking. Maybe she shouldn’t have snuck into the White House party.

The kills this episode were top notch, from the chandelier to seeing Evelyn (Nia Vardalos) mutilate herself before drowning in a pot of boiling oil, as well as Gretchen being cut in half and Annie Gilpin (Sarah Sherman) having her face cut off. Tiffany’s plot point was the most interesting this episode as she gets her package of voodoo dolls and plans to use them to either kill or possess her way out of the prison. Did anyone really expect Tiffany to not get out of this alive?

Not that it’d be a big shock if she does die, this isn’t the first or second or third or fourth time Tiffany has been killed in this series and she always comes back. Speaking of surprise, I didn’t expect Chucky to finish his sacrifice this episode and get back to full power. But it seems like Damballa has truly given up on him. My prediction? Chucky will figure out that he has to kill the trio in order to appease Damballa, setting up for the big finale.

There has to be at least one more filler episode in this season, it’s going way too fast. But we’ll have to wait for it because the show is going on hiatus. See you next year!