Pinochet is a vampire.

El Conde is definitely a film. Directed by Pablo Larrain who has a storied history of making both true-to-fact and alternate history movies, El Conde offers the interesting scenario where Augusto Pinochet is a vampire who has been living for hundreds of years. He finds himself tired of life and wishing for death, now seemingly unable to die. When his kids show up unexpectedly, he begins to wonder what their motivations are. Meanwhile the church is out to get him.

Pinochet is played by James Vadell who at 88 years old still has a lot of piss and vinegar in him. A Chilean actor, I can’t honestly say I’ve seen any of Vadell’s prior work. He does a great job of playing a decrepit old man who you know under that weak exterior is actually an incredibly dangerous person. He’s apparently one of the most popular Chilean actors. His wife Lucia is played by Maria Barber. Again, Chilean actor.

Pinochet’s butler is played by Alfredo Castro. Paula Luchsinger plays Carmen, a nun and apparent expert in exorcism who is called on by the church to infiltrate the Pinochets under the guise of auditing the family’s inheritance for the children. The group of children are also played by various Chilean actors. Meanwhile Stella Gonet is here as Margaret. Yeah, just Margaret. Anyway, let’s talk more about the movie.

El Conde is presented in black and white which is fitting as the film dives deep into the realm of political satire and portrays Pinochet as a literal monster. An exhausted monster, but a monster nonetheless. One who is rather proud of his legacy and gleeful about all the murders that happened under his watch, but a bitter man nonetheless. One who sees his legacy ruined by his ungrateful people who view him as a thief. And he’s not a thief, he just did what any leader would do and enriched himself as a benefit of being such a great ruler. That’s different, right?

The actors in this movie are all great, including Pinochet’s greedy children. My favorite characters are Fyodor as well as Carmen. Fyodor is a servant to the very end, and while he might be just as evil and wretched as Pinochet himself you never get the idea that he has anything but unending loyalty and love for his general. Being tied with a vampire curse also helps the loyalty, but Fyodor was loyal long before he became a vampire. Meanwhile Carmen plays the role of the nun over her head quite well, shmoozing the family and working her way around the house. And even her motives aren’t exactly pure from the outside perspective.

Cinematography is A+ whether it is Pinochet ripping the heart out of a victim in a brutal and bloody fashion, or watching him fly off into the night like a fascist Superman. The worst thing I can say about this film is that it tends to fall into a very repetitive rhythm. While the shots are beautifully done, there’s a big swath of the movie that just feels like they’re padding for time. You’ll probably see the big twist coming from a mile away.

Rating: A-