Moderately spoiler free.

I’ve been shifting back and forth on how to deal with TV reviews and I decided on this one. I’m going to watch shows every week and then just do a Saturday summary of what I’ve been watching. This is going to be the way I do things until I decide to do things another way.

Enjoy.

1. What If… Season 2 Episode 1: “What If… Nebula Joined the Nova Corps?” (No Spoilers)

What If… Season 2 kicks off on a pretty strong episode in my opinion. The first episode explores the question of what if Nebula joined the Nova Corps. It’s literally in the name. Effectively this episode is a chance for Karen Gillan to have a noir detective show and talk like a brooding badass. Hard to do because Karen Gillan is adorable. Nebula becomes a beat cop and a damn good one if the show is anything to go by, as in this universe Ronan the Accuser launches a coup against Thanos, evidently killing him in the process and intending on invading Xandar which has closed itself off from the universe via a big shield.

A chance encounter with Yondu (Michael Rooker) sets Nebula on a mystery to investigate. It’s episodes like this that are what I enjoy about What If… as a concept, as it allows characters to interact who otherwise don’t have much time to see each other in the MCU standard. Where else would we get Howard the Duck (Seth Green), Korg (Taika Waititi), and Groot (Fred Tatasciore) all in one place?

The first episode was directed by Stephen Franck (The Smurfs: The Legend of Smurfy Hollow) and written by Matthew Chauncy. I know that eventually the season is going to lead into a broader scope but I’ll enjoy the faux separation for now.

2. Avatar: The Last Airbender Season 1 Episode 1: “Aang” (Spoilers)

I’ve been waiting for a live action Avatar show since virtually never, especially after the embarrassing M. Night Shyamalamadingdong movie in 2010. The big problem I have with a series for Avatar is what the Scott Pilgrim show cured for the movie. We’ve already had it. The Avatar show was fantastic, and was also an anime, and also it’s over. But since Hollywood is creatively bankrupt but also smart enough to not try to shove a full series into a 2-3 hour movie like the Series of Unfortunate Events days, we’re going to get a series.

Fine. Whatever.

Avatar: The Last Airbender stars Gordon Cormier as Aang, the last airbender and also Avatar, duder who is destined to keep balance between the four nations. Aang is encased in ice for 100 years while the Fire Nation destroys the world and conquers pretty much everything. He’s awoken by water bender Katara (Kiawentiio) and Sokka (Ian Ousley) who I have to say do a great job of imitating their anime counterparts. Kiawentiio is cute as a button and Ian Ousley does a shockingly good job of imitating Sokka’s voice and mannerisms. It’s almost uncanny how well the main three do (in my opinion) at creating real world versions of the cartoon characters.

Meanwhile Aang is being pursued by Prince Zuko played by Dallas Liu alongside Uncle Iroh (Paul Sun-Hyung Lee) for the glory and approval of his father Fire Lord Ozai (Daniel Dae Kim). They do fine, even if Zuko is a little pudgier than his cartoon counterpart. And it’s good to see Paul not attempting to imitate Mako’s voice. No, nobody is going to replace Mako as the one true Iroh. But Paul does just fine.

Anyway, the first episode is all about setting up the characters and getting the plot going. The season does have Princess Yue (Amber Midthunder) as well as Suki who eventually teaches Sokka sex bending. In her bedroom. They actually brought back the cabbage merchant, so you know the showrunners actually know the memes, and it’s a good thing the show has already been renewed for a season 2 and 3. Because Toph isn’t here.

#3: Halo Season 2 Episode 5: “Aleria” (Spoilers)

Talk about a heart-wrencher. When Louis tells Riz that there’s more to life than being a soldier, I assumed her story would come to an end more toward the back end of the season. Episode seven or eight, letting Chief finish whatever the hell this season is leading up to on his own with Halsey. But it’s nice to see Riz get the bookend she moderately deserves, albeit only because she finally accepted that she doesn’t have to push herself ten steps past death to prove anything to anyone. She’ll presumably have a nice, peaceful life with that lady who kept waving at her.

I was really rooting for Soren and Laera to find Kessler, but it was nice seeing Laera take charge yet again and go into mama bear mode to protect her son. I was waiting for her to go full Negan on the shop keep, but if she did shove that barbed wire bat up his ass we’ll probably never find out. It’s only fitting that Kessler was taken by the UNSC, given the story has to wrap around to Soren attempting to keep his son out of the Spartan III program. And oh yeah, we see the Spartan IIIs.

I’m a little disappointed there wasn’t much of a proper reunion between Chief and Kwan, although the hallucination Kwan has while high on Vannak’s cremated remains will no doubt come into play later on. She is a chosen one, and the Halo world loves its prophecies.

If there’s one thing I’ve come to expect from Halo, it’s people going AWOL. John Chief decides his next plan is to go after Ackerson and Parangosky, possibly using that baseball bat Laera crafted. Meanwhile Makee goes AWOL herself, after reminding the Arbiter that if he kills her in episode 5 the audience will never have a chance of seeing those buttcheeks again. Being a religious figure, the Arbiter isn’t swayed until Cortana shows him the ring. I hope the ring has a McDonald’s.

#4: Halo Season 2 Episode 6 “Onyx” (Spoilers)

Miranda Keyes is back! I don’t believe we’ve seen Miranda all season so far. Also there’s Perez, I kinda forgot she survived Reach.

I didn’t really enjoy episode 6 of Halo. John Chief is once again without his armor leading to a completely one-sided fight where he gets the absolute crap kicked out of him by Kai, who is now in charge of training the Spartan-IIIs. Perez is part of that training crew and hoping to prove herself in a way she couldn’t on Reach. Kwan Ha and Halsey go underground to discover the answer to something or other, which is where they meet Keyes continuing Halsey’s work. Soren and Laera go off to find Kessler since it seems self-explanatory that the UNSC is kidnapping kids again for their Spartan program.

The whole episode feels like a realization that the season is coming to a close and after all the excitement of the last couple episodes the audience might need a reminder on what the hell is going on. Just about every character might as well stare directly at the camera and say “just in case you were wondering, here’s what I’ve been doing.” Also it’s funny seeing the UNSC fully accept that they are an evil organization.

Only two more episodes to go.

#5: Halo Season 2 Episode 7 “Thermopylae” (Spoilers)

I promise future versions of this will feature only one episode of a show per bit, I’m just getting caught up on the Halo show to not fall too far behind on that.

We’re finally at the penultimate episode of Halo Season 2: The John Chief Stories. Everyone simultaneously figures out where the Halo ring is and we finally figure out why the Spartan III’s simulations didn’t have any enemies left after the Spartans plant the data spike. The plan of course being to cause a nuclear reaction that wipes out an entire star system and incinerates everything inside it including the Spartans and the Halo ring. It’s an interesting conundrum, especially when you remember that in the context of the series, humanity is facing an extinction level event if the Covenant get the Halo.

There’s an interesting discussion between Makee and John Chief where they talk about the unfortunate situation. Both the Covenant and the humans want to reach Halo first, a device that could easily solve everyone’s problems and let them live in harmony. But the Halo can also be used as a weapon, meaning both sides want to reach it first to use on the other out of fear that the other would use it on them. Each side reasonably paranoid on the other’s intentions thanks to factions that just want to see the other wiped out.

I guess Ackerson is officially one of the good guys now, or at least one of the decent guys. Ackerson does what everyone does in this series, he goes AWOL and helps John Chief expose Parangosky who I assume will be arrested in the final episode once the battle is done. Perez I expect will die in the final episode attempting to stop the spike from being inserted, saving what few Spartans there are left on the field but also allowing Chief to do his job.

Meanwhile Soren and Laera and Kessler? This storyline is getting really tired. There’s probably something to be said about the cycle of abuse with Soren and briefly wanting to see his son get the absolute shit beaten out of him by adults with metal batons to see if he chooses to stay, but once Laera points out that he’s basically just projecting his own trauma he comes to his senses. Laera and Kessler are dragged off, and honestly I’m not jumping at the opportunity to see if the last episode closes out their characters.

One more week.