Short episode this time. (Spoilers of course)

#1: What If…? Episode 5 “What If… Captain Carter Fought the Hydra Stomper?”

I was wondering how long it would take What If to start pulling stories together and the answer is episode 5. This is a continuation of the first season episode starring who else but Peggy Carter. In the same way that the Captain Carter episode was Captain America-ish, this one is Winter Soldier-adjacent. Having emerged from a portal into the future, Peggy works with Black Widow to discover the whereabouts of the Hydra Stomper along with who else but Steve Rogers himself. In the flesh. Only by this time Rogers has been reprogrammed by The Red Room into a killing machine but not for the good guys.

Unsurprisingly Scarlett Johansen didn’t return to voice Black Widow for this show and neither did Chris Evans as Captain America. Everyone else is back including Sebastian Stan, Rachel Weisz, Sam Jackson, Hayley Atwell, Frank Grillo, and Elizabeth Olsen. It does strike me as odd that in this universe Crossbones is working for the good guys, but it’s also weird to see Bucky Barnes as a grown dude seeing as how he never got captured after WWII. They do use this opportunity to bring Marvel 1602 into the MCU however.

#2: X-Men ’97 Episode 5 “Remember It”

Shockingly not a second part from the last episode. This episode taught me one thing; Wolverine has a thing for big booby redheads. Who among us doesn’t. Jean and Scott have been pulling themselves apart since the loss of their child and Jean is starting to have feelings for Wolverine who pushes her away. The crew heads to Genosha where they ask Magneto to become their ruler. Magneto agrees on the condition that Rogue be his queen. Rogue doesn’t like the idea, but then remembers she enjoyed touching his butt.

You gotta feel bad for Scott. The guy finds out that the woman he’s been porking and even knocked up wasn’t actually Jean Grey but is actually…Jean Grey. Not a twin, not a family member, but a living piece of the original. And after all that the real Jean Grey has the audacity to get jealous of him for still having feelings for the clone. Cable shows up to warn them of an impending attack before being pulled back into the future.

But the episode ends on a sad note as sentinels show up on the island and start massacring people by the dozens, including Magneto and Gambit. The episode ends on a very, very dark note. The next episode is set to continue the LifeDeath story from episode 4, and then there is one more episode and then a three part season finale titled “Tolerance is Extinction.” Given X-Men has time travel, we’ll have to see if the dead characters actually stay dead.

Remember when I said the show was finally starting to connect itself? Well who else shows up this episode for a very brief cameo but The Watcher. I had a feeling that Marvel was misleading us when they said that X-Men ’97 would be disconnected from the overall MCU, but this seems to confirm that X-Men ’97 is connected to What If…? meaning it’s also connected to the broader MCU.

#3: Fallout Episode 1 “The End”

What a fantastic first episode. I think we’ve all been justifiably concerned about whether the Fallout series would be decent given the past of video game adaptations and also Amazon’s willingness to show complete contempt for a franchise’s fans.

The Fallout series stars Ella Purnell as Lucy McLean, a young woman who has spent her life living in an underground vault in the aftermath of the nuclear apocalypse. Lucy finds herself in an arranged marriage gone wrong when the neighboring vault reveals they’re actually all bandits and attack, kidnapping her father in the process. Her dad is played by Kyle McLachlan so that’s pretty great. Lucy sets out on adventure, leaving the vault and her friends and family behind, to find and rescue her dad. Can she do it? Probably. Hopefully this isn’t a straight retelling of Fallout 3.

Meanwhile Maximus (Aaron Moten) is a new squire in the Brotherhood of Steel, a cult of sorts dedicated to preserving ancient technology. Weapons, appliances, sex toys, you know how it goes. Maximus is sent on a mission as a squire alongside a big armored dude to hunt down a member of The Enclave. The Enclave are the bad guys for those who don’t know their Fallout lore, a group of war criminals including the US President who are now the remaining rich and powerful unwilling to give up power in a world where governments don’t really exist anymore.

And then there’s my favorite guy; Walton Goggins. Walt plays Cooper Howard, a 200+ year old man irradiated into a ghoul by the nuclear blast. Cooper Howard is a bounty hunter and your stereotypical western cowboy because he’s played by Walton Goggins so of course he is. Howard is woken from his underground slumber by a group of bounty hunters hoping to get him on board the same bounty that Maximus is going after, but Goggins shoots the guys dead mostly because he can and decides to take the bounty on himself.

First episode? Pretty darn good. I’m a little disappointed we don’t get a “war never changes” intro sequence, nor does it appear in this episode at all actually. But I’m willing to keep watching.

#4: Avatar The Last Airbender Episode 4 “Into the Dark”

The cabbage man is back.

That piano rendition of Leaves From the Vine is going to shed some tears. Not mine, because I’m a manly man who doesn’t show feelings. But other people probably started feeling the feels when they heard it playing a few times during this episode.

Episode 4 of The Last Airbender seems focused far more on character development, letting our heroes air out some baggage while not moving the plot forward much. There’s a lot of characters reconciling with their past. Aang realizes that the King of Omashu is his childhood friend Bumi who has somehow managed to keep surviving after 100 years. Bumi has had a rough life, having to make hard decisions during a very long war time that have left him reasonably bitter at the world and Aang.

And it makes sense, because as far as the world knows the Avatar was supposed to be there to protect them and just vanished when they needed him most. Admittedly for the sake of time and keeping the story going, Bumi suddenly shifting on a dime and throwing away years of misery because of one small gesture is pretty weak. Iroh and Zuko’s relationship is expanded on more as we see that Zuko was the only one willing to stand by Iroh when his son died as well as the Earth Kingdom guard coming face to face with the man who led the campaign that killed his brother. Sokka and Katara dealing with the death of their father.

All around a very light hearted episode if you get my drift. But the first season still feels like it’s trying to cram in way too much under the assumption the show probably wasn’t going to get renewed. But it has been renewed, and hopefully in season 2 and 3 they’ll be afforded better pacing.

#5: Shogun Chapter 3 “Tomorrow Is Tomorrow”

Toronaga sure is a man’s man. After swapping places with Blackthorne in the prior episode, Toronaga shows up to trade places with his wife ensuring her safety and putting himself in danger. Toronaga later announces his resignation from the group of five regents ensuring that it will be impossible to impeach him as an impeachment requires five regents to vote.

Ferriera meanwhile decides he is going to take the Black Ship and leave port against the Japanese wishes ensuring they’ll probably ruin any chance at future diplomacy. Wouldn’t luck have it, as Toronaga requires passage through the blockade and is willing to scratch their back if they scratch his back. He also promises a Christian church being built in his home town.

I love the growing relationship between Toronaga and Blackthorne as the two learn more about each other’s cultures and see them less as godless barbarians. It’s also great seeing the love-hate relationship between Blackthorne and Vasco Rodrigues as the two very clearly hate each other but can’t help but respect the other’s talents as ship pilots. I’m sure we’ll hear more about this debt in a future episode, unless they’ve already talked about it and I somehow missed and forgot what it was.

The episode ends with some heavy plot lines being set up. Toronaga is free of his prison and is preparing to go to war against the other regents. Blackthorne is put in charge of training Toronaga’s warriors in fighting in the way of the barbarian. It’s a little sad to see Buntaro staying behind to sacrifice himself, although he doesn’t die on screen and that means we can’t count on him actually being dead.

Oh and Blackthorne and Mariko are definitely going to bang.

#6: Silent Hill Ascension Chapter 17 “Sanctuary”

Once again I am deeply impressed by this show’s ability to do a lot and yet accomplish absolutely nothing.

I’m noticing more and more that characters lines and their actions barely match each other. Astrid yells at Orson to come back when he’s standing perfectly still and not actually going anywhere. Orson being a single-braincell creature decides to shout that he wants to see the monster as it is attacking them. The fireball monster kidnaps Orson, or maybe it’s protecting him. Either way Orson gets what every young boy wants, a fireball demon artillery monster.

Faith has completely embraced her role as conduit for the demon monsters as well. I guess it’s interesting seeing demons actually hurting and killing people instead of randomly appearing and then disappearing at a moment’s notice. Nora and Rachel treat Faith massacring townsfolk like she’s having a tantrum in a Walmart parking lot as Rachel admits she never really handled punishing Faith. Personally I’d go for a bullet but given the series I’m not entirely confident that would work.

You still can’t convince me this show wasn’t written by AI. The entire world seems to be inhabited by people who have never developed object permanence and there are still constant situations of characters being aware of an ongoing problem and then immediately forgetting about it once it’s out of sight. I’ve seen people react to a spider disappearing out of sight with more gravitas than the characters in this show treat seeing literal demons walking around town and in their homes.

I’m more curious on which franchise Genvid will be able to swindle for their next show, because there are a ton of IPs that will sell themselves cheap enough. Or for that matter if Silent Hill Ascension will be the last thing we see come out of this company. I can’t imagine the show is making much money anymore given barely anyone talks about it and the engagement appears to be mostly bots farming influence to vote. Ascension may disprove my theory that everything has its fanboys, as I haven’t seen a single person defend this show since its first few episodes that wasn’t employed by Genvid.