I still be watchin.

#1: What If…? Episode 6 “What If… Kahhori Reshaped the World?”

This is one of the few times you’ll read me say this but; I didn’t particularly care for this episode because it was mostly subtitled. Now one look at this website will tell you I very much love foreign films and prefer watching them with subtitles over bad English dubs, but I also do that in context. I’m not going to turn on Scrubs and watch it with German dubs with English subtitles. Similarly I really don’t care for an episode of Marvel show that is entirely subtitled.

The episode begs the question of what would happen if Surtur destroyed Asgard early, sending the tesseract to Earth during pre-colonial American times and creating a literal fountain of youth. A Mohawk girl Wahta falls into the lake and emerges on the other side in a magical world of magical Native Americans. Her tribe is being attacked by evil Spanish conquistadors who are evil and also Spanish. Everyone who falls into the lake becomes immortal while in the lake and also gains super powers.

It was kinda boring. Maybe it’s because the episode is 99.999% characters we don’t know in a time that doesn’t mean much to the overall world, but I didn’t find it very engaging. They took a very basic premise, that being a character enters a new world and finds powers, and since this is a 30 minute episode didn’t give the character much progression. There’s not much struggle to speak of, she just kinda becomes powerful lady with blue light powers. And then they go back into the real world because she has to save her village, and they blue power the Spanish into leaving.

Oh and then Strange Supreme shows up.

#2: Chucky Season 3 Episode 5 “Death Becomes Her”

Damn I have missed the hell out of Chucky. It’s been six months since the last episode of Chucky aired due to the strike, and I honestly forgot that the show was coming back already. This is what happens when I don’t use my paper calendar to write things down.

Anywho, it’s nice seeing that Don Mancini is still open to expanding the Chucky world and lore. I guess it makes sense in a world of voodoo and spirit transfers that there’s an actual rhyme and reason to how spirits work. Interesting to know that spirits actually do show up on camera, but more interesting to question why the dead are coming back to (presumably) send messages to the living. Devon Sawa finally dies in an incredibly brutal fashion, a perfect note to bring the show back on. We also set up the “why do we need to stop Chucky” mission as Chucky grabs the nuclear codes. It’s really all coming together.

Meanwhile Jake and Devon finally make a sex. Good for them. The duo meet up with Chucky’s doctor who explains that the Catholic cancer is killing Chucky and the only way to really get rid of him will be to follow him into the spirit world when he dies, meaning one of them has to die as well. Will this lead to a moment where Devon and Jake die to kill Chucky and Lexy brings them back into the world of the living? Who knows.

I’m all in on Chucky’s “fuck you, M-three-gan” line.

#3: Avatar the Last Airbender Episode 5 “Spirited Away”

This was a really good episode.

Episode 5 really stands on its own in terms of theme and tone. More of a horror story, Spirited Away sees Aang and crew encountering a village near a forest that was destroyed by the fire nation. They learn that several villagers have gone missing and Aang is pretty sure that they’ve been ripped into the spirit world due to the fragile barrier between the two worlds. In attempting to enter the world however, Aang inexplicably brings Katara and Sokka with him.

Featured in this episode is Koh the Face Stealer voiced by the ever sultry George Takei who I routinely forget is still alive. Amber Midthunder is here as the fox spirit who you may recognize from her role in Dream Scenario. Randall Duk Kim is here as Wan Shi Tong, you may remember him as the Keymaker from The Matrix Reloaded. Aang escapes the spirit fog in order to track down someone who can help him defeat the Face Stealer and save his friends and the villagers.

Meanwhile on Zuko’s side, Zuko learns he has to swallow his pride and turn to a lowly bounty hunter to help find the Avatar. And who is the bounty hunter? You guessed it, Frank Stallone. Actually it’s June who in this world is played by Arden Cho who has previously played who cares in who cares. I love seeing Mai get verbally tossed on her ass as she attempts and fails to gaslight her dad into thinking that Zuko is inept. You can sympathize with Mai, given she constantly seems to be disappointing her father despite him never giving her the opportunity to actually go out and prove herself.

Overall this episode is about going through the character’s inner turmoil and it is heart-wrenching. We learn more about Sokka’s past as well as Katara and their relationship with their parents and the water tribe. Aang we know harbors a ton of guilt over not being there for the world when they needed him. Mai has her daddy issues and Zuko definitely has his daddy issues. And Iroh? He is the daddy issue.

I really loved the scene with Aang and Gyatsu, especially when he convinces Aang that he was not responsible for the air temple being destroyed and that, had he been there at the time, the only thing that would have changed is that Aang himself would also be dead. Healing.

#4: Fallout Episode 2 “The Target”

Maybe we’ll sit and watch Fallout. This week’s episode of Fallout is quite a banger if I do say so myself. And I do and I did.

We finally have our macguffin for this season and it only took one episode. The bad news is that Dr Wilzig is dead, which means he won’t be answering any of Lucy’s questions. You have to hand it to the folks in props for this show, they went above and beyond to create the gore and people with limbs ripped off and holes blown through them. Also the process of putting on that robot leg sounds horrible. We do know that his head contains some blue thing that is likely the reason that a bounty has been placed on his head.

What does the blue thing do? We’ll find out I’m sure. Meanwhile I’m sure we were all gleefully waiting for Titus to be killed unceremoniously and it did not disappoint. The lesson here is that if you’re dying and there’s only one person who could possibly save you, don’t treat them like shit. Especially if you’re in the wasteland where there’s little incentive as it is to play by the rules. Maximus gets his power armor only to learn something that all Fallout players learned; it doesn’t make you as invincible as you’d think.

I love Dale Dickey as Ma June and I hope we see more of her sass in later episodes. I have to assume the dog in the show is one of the line of Dogmeats that show up in Fallout. The characters that pop up are entertaining enough and of course there’s plenty of Fallout lore to be found. I love when Lucy starts chiding Ma June over selling Vault Tec equipment that is very likely stolen. What a sweet summer child.

#5: X-Men ’97 Episode 6 “Lifedeath – Part 2”

Show of hands; how many of you honestly thought Professor X was going to actually be dead? Because they didn’t have me fooled for a second. I also refuse to believe that all of the main characters who died in the last episode are dead either, given the show has time travel. The episode introduces us to the Kree-Shi’ar war, and lo and behold Charles is still alive. He’s going to marry the Shi’ar queen only for her crew to push against the idea because they are cosmic racists.

I love this episode. It harkens back to the old silliness of X-Men as Charles psychically takes everyone to class and shoves an apple in Deathbird’s mouth which she is later shown eating in the background. Xavier gets a vision of all the mutants killed on Genosha and decides it’s time to return to Earth. Thanks Charles, imagine how many people you could have saved by not being a deadbeat.

Meanwhile on the Storm side, it’s nice to see that Storm was just having a case of confidence-induced limp dick regarding her powers. It was all in her head and now she’s ready to go back and lay down an ass whooping on the enemies of mutant and humankind. Also is anyone really surprised that this was all the work of Mr. Sinister? I get the feeling that Tolerance is Extinction is going to have a war between humans and mutants that some time travel and mutant powers are going to have to fix.

But who knows, I haven’t seen the last few episodes.

#6: Silent Hill Ascension Chapter 18 “Ensnared”

I love this show. My friends constantly ask why I bother watching Silent Hill Ascension and writing about it, but I’m far too invested to give up now. It’s like watching a mudslide composed entirely of human feces going down a big hill and watching it engulf the police station, the grocery store, an elementary school, and as it continues down its path of destruction you have to wonder how the hell it happened in the first place.

Chapter 18 has the dumbest plot developments since Toby was in the show. Remember Toby? Olivia reveals to Astrid that she’s in lesbian with each other. And you might be thinking, the same Olivia who just a few episodes ago was trying to actively ruin Astrid’s life? The same Olivia who was kicked off the force because she was acting unethically around the disappearance of Orson and the investigation? The same Olivia who despises the Johansen family for Eva shooting everyone years ago? Yes, that Olivia. And Astrid decides she is also in lesbian with Olivia back and they kiss.

Everyone in this show is stupid as shit. Rachel and Eric are once again attacked in their own home and don’t leave. The civilians are attacked in their own town and don’t leave, and just kinda walk around until the next attacking. Nobody has shot Faith in the head in spite of her now very clearly being the source of the problems in Pennsylvania. Nobody has shot Orson in his stupid head despite him probably being too stupid to know how to die.