I wish he went somewhere else.

He Went That Way is the directorial debut and final movie of Jeffrey Darling. Written by middle-of-the-road writer Evan M. Weiner, the name behind 2010’s Monogamy and 2015’s Big Sky, Weiner has yet to write a film breaking 5.5 on IMDB. He Went That Way is such a film that if you look up film in the dictionary you’ll see He Went That Way as the quintessential film’s film. A series of images with actors playing parts and doing shit. It starts and eventually ends.

Based on a true story, the film stars Zachary Quinto as Jim Goodwin. Jim is a mild-mannered guy rolling around with his companion Spanky, a performing chimp whose career in the limelight is fading. Spanky was a real chimp, by the way. Jim picks up Bobby Falls (Jacob Elordi) who rather quickly reveals himself to be a serial killer. The two share some silly antics as they start off the film both distrusting and hating each other, but connected by a relatively common destination and being societal outcasts. Along the way they are guaranteed to find common threads and even grow to like each other as friends.

Or maybe something more. But it’s the 60s so it’s probably not going to get all gay and stuff. They get slightly gay in a way that isn’t appealing to anyone, especially me as Elordi’s bedroom eyes never get us anywhere. The monkey is clearly a dude in a chimpanzee suit and I expected it to be for insurance/budget reasons but the film actually addresses it directly. In a way that is even more underwhelming than the gay stuff.

Jeffrey Darling sadly passed away before He Went That Way completed its filming, and that probably explains why this whole project feels like kind of a mess. The movie never quite seems to understand what it wants to be and is relatively more bipolar in its mood than its star Bobby Falls. Is Bobby a quirky guy with a silly Billy, if somewhat violent attitude or is he a serious, threatening, kinda rapey dude that you shouldn’t leave around your daughters? The answer is yes, yes he is. He’s also obsessed with being perceived as gay, which it is the 60s.

As a result the two men often feel like they are stitched together from two separate movies that were filmed and then CG’d together. And while Elordi is a great actor, I couldn’t get behind his role as Bobby. He lords over the movie so much that it feels like an audition tape for Elordi as he tries out for The Joker in James Gunn’s theoretical Batman movie. He beats the crap out of and stabs a chef because the chef was looking at him all accusatory. It could also just be racism and the chef being black, this was the 60s.

He’s the guy in the group whose sole personality trait is how quirky he is. Oh hey, Bobby’s putting steak sauce on his lasagna again. He’s unpredictable like that. Don’t comment on this about how steak sauce on lasagna is a popular regional thing from wherever you live.

He Went That Way never feels particularly compelled to make you interested in the story, which is kinda the point of movies. If this was an avant garde piece of art meant to mock the idea of movies based on real serial killers doing a disservice by being enjoyable to watch, well it did its job quite efficiently. Unfortunately that also means it made a film that isn’t very interesting. It definitely feels like a director’s first movie, and it’s sad to know that Darling didn’t make it to finish the darn thing and give us his completed vision for it.

Honestly I don’t have much to say about this movie. It’s the equivalent of biting into one of those burgers they use for advertising only to realize it’s made of plastic and flavorless.

Rating: D