Nicolas Cage in 1984.

Rob King makes some weird ass movies and The Humanity Bureau is probably one of the most straightforward in terms of reading the synopsis and getting a good idea on what the movie is about. Starring Nicolas Cage and released in 2018 in Canada, The Humanity Bureau is a dystopian future story where America has instituted “The Humanity Bureau” (go figure) following a war and climate crisis to ensure citizens are being efficient. Those who are determined to not be efficient are deported to New Eden, and yes I’m looking at you who woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon today and considers it waking up early.

Nicolas Cage plays Noah Kross, a stupidly named agent of the Humanity Bureau and a strong believer in the new government. His beliefs will be shattered on a fateful day when he learns that the New Eden may not be the place that it was trumped up to be. It’s a death camp, they kill people sent to New Eden. Technically a spoiler, but let’s be fair you all knew that was where it was going the moment I said this is a dystopia where the inefficient are forcibly exiled to a place nobody else can go. He takes on the role of protector of two people he knows he’d have to relocate, a mother Rachel Weller (Sarah Lind) and her son Lucas (Jakob Davies).

My big problem with this movie is that it’s like a dollar store 1984 or Soylent Green. It would have made more sense if New Eden was a forced labor camp where people were basically worked to death and then either burned for fuel or turned into food for the starving masses. It also has the same bad plot telling as Demolition Man by setting the movie in 2030, meaning we’re supposed to believe that all of these massive changes in American life and culture occur in the next twelve years and settle to the point where it’s just accepted by the masses. There’s literally a guy named Adolf in this story.

Also it’s another film where Nicolas Cage phones in his performance. It’s a very boring movie all around and unlike Willy’s Wonderland which I hated and apparently every Cage fan loved, this one isn’t high on the Cage fan list either. It’s still better than Willy’s Wonderland.

Rating: C-